Birth Story (Day 0)

We have now welcomed our amazing, beautiful little girl into the world and here is how it happened…

I suppose I should start where my last post left off, where the induction is concerned…

Thanks to the lateness of the appointment we managed to get DS nicely settled before we had to go. G came round at 1900 to watch him and off we went.

We arrived at hospital at 2030 and waited in maternity triage. About 2130 we got called through onto triage and met Kirsty the MW who would be looking after me at this stage of the induction process. 

She explained that I’d have to be monitored for half an hour then have a VE, a scan to check Baby was head down and then I’d have a pessary inserted to soften cervix and that this would be in for 24 hours before being taken to labour ward and put on the hormone drip, Syntocinon if nothing happened beforehand!!!

24 hours?

We don’t have childcare for more than tonight and tomorrow!!!

Cue panic and begging to just go straight on drop. She said that unless I was ‘favourable‘ then I would have to have the pessary.

The next hour I spent pleading silently with my cervix that it would be favourable.

Thankfully I was, it was. I was 6cm dilated so given the news that I’d go straight down to labour ward and onto the hormone drip as soon as they were ready for me which should be an hour or so so we tried to grab an hour’s shut eye, it was gone midnight by this point.

A lovely MW called Georgie came and fetched us about 0130 and immediately we got on. Her little boy Charlie was born 5 days after DS so we instantly had plenty to talk about.

We were settled into birthing room  number 5 and brought teas and coffees to keep us going, we were both pretty exhausted by this point.

At about 0230 a doctor came to fit a cannula and the drip was fitted and activated by about 0300 and Georgie assured me baby would be here by 6!!

This wasn’t the case.

Despite having regular and strong (according to the machines) contractions everyone was amazed that I just couldn’t feel anything. All I can explain it as was a tightening of my outer stomach muscles like you get with a TENS machine, nothing deep within.

I went from 2ml/hour to 4, to 8, to 12 then back down to 8 to prevent too many.

At this point Georgie mentioned that she thought she had felt what could have been an ear when she examined me meaning that Peanut’s head could be slightly turned meaning it wasn’t properly engaged and pushing onto my cervix thus causing this stalled progress.

If this continued then I was aware that there was a very real possibility of me having to have a c-sec.

I continued to bounce on the birthing ball, walk around the room and when OH discovered a wireless speaker behind the curtain we put on some music so I started to dance quite vigorously to desperately try and shift baby’s head.

At approximately 0750 as Heorgie neared the end of her shift she told me she was going to crank up the hormone and upped it to 16 then her replacement, Lynne, turned up and she handed over to her.

We were so lucky with midwives as Lynne, too was a great laugh and we managed to have a bit of a chat about my birth plan and what my preferences were.

At 0840 the first proper contraction hit and boy it was a doozy. I literally went from 0-1000 in one contraction. Lynne asked what position I’d like to be in and I replied not on my back between pelvis cracking contraction pains. At this point she got me on the bed where I climbed up and onto my knees grabbing the handrails on the ‘back’ of the bed.

I heard her tell me to push when I felt the urge which I was amazed about as thought I can’t have dilated that quickly but within a contraction I heard her opening the delivery pack and I was pushing.

Within half an hour, at 0913 I birthed Peanut’s head and two minutes later, at 0915 I gave birth.

It took a few seconds for her to cry which felt like a lifetime then a sobbing OH told me it was a girl!!!

That moment will be etched on my brain forever. 

A girl. 

Our family is complete. 

No pain relief but yogic breathing and a natural (barring the hormone induction) birth with no intervention. I felt every single centimetre of her descent, of her crowning and of her being born, a sensation I didn’t have with DS due to having put myself in some zen like state for the labouring hours and having been deadened ‘down there’ due to an episiotomy. Although I never got to have the water birth I would have so liked I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome, all considered.

Although having another boy would have been absolutely fine with me I think I possibly would have felt the need to try for another and with our advancing years and the time it takes us to conceive and with the risks of more miscarriages and complications due to my age I think the risks of doing so far outweigh the benefits. We’ve successfully rolled the dice twice now with a perfect outcome each time, and even though in an ideal world I would have loved three children, it’s time I stopped tempting fate and now we have one of each I don’t feel a need to risk it. 


It’s a Girl (38 Weeks + 2)

At 9.15am on the 9th April 2017, after an hour of labour, I delivered a healthy 8Ib 4oz baby girl and I am head over heels in love with her.

I will write my birth story soon, before I forget all the details, but for now I am drowning myself in every single moment of my precious, beautiful girl and spending quality time with DS who is equally as besotted with his baby sisty.

Don’t F*ck with Nature (38 Weeks + 1)

I’ve always abided by this opinion. I rarely take medication, I try and eat as naturally as I can and I totally disagree with interfering with the way nature should work where your body is concerned.

So why the FUCK did I do it this time. Because a bloody consultant scared the shit out of us and after yesterday we now know that his opinion is NOT shared by other consultants in the same bloody hospital.

It’s been a rather eventful 12 hours. After returning home my contractions remained at 5 minutes until 2030 where I lost a gush of what I assumed was mucus plug so rang hospital to check it wasn’t waters (I know I have a lot of water and that this didn’t represent the amount I should have lost). She said to go in so they could check or wait an hour to see if contractions worsen then go in but she needed to determine whether my waters had gone or not.

After much deliberation and trying to contact community midwife to see if she could come out (unsuccessfully I may say) my waters actually broke with much mess ensuing.

Rang G to come look after DS and rang hospital To say we were coming in to which she told us not to!!!! Now she knows the waters had gone we didn’t need to go in until contractions were closer together and I couldn’t speak through the pain and to ring back in morning if there was no change. 

I tried to explain to her that load of bullshit… I was talking through all my contractions with DS until half hour before pushing. I wish that they wouldn’t say this to women. Everyone is different, everyone has different thresholds and to stop someone coming because they’re talking is ludicrous. It was because I was talking at 2 minute apart that we didn’t race to hospital quicker with DS and were only there an hour before he was born. I also explained the speed at which I progressed with DS. None of this made the blindest difference. 

We stayed at home. I continued leaking water and contracting every five minutes, sent G home and went to bed.

At 2345 I woke up and contractions were between 1 and 2 minutes apart so got up to get dressed and change pad only for everything to stop.

Haven’t had a contraction since.

Not one.

Rang first thing and she told me to ring back at midday where they may ask me to go in to be monitored and book an induction as they don’t like to let you go more than 24 hours after waters have broken.

Rang at midday and induction booked for 9pm tonight so we have to head over there an hour beforehand.

On a side note I was reading my notes from yesterday and discovered that the MW blatantly lied on my notes. See pic below:

Note boxes Fetal Heart Rate Prior To VE and Fetal Heart Rate After VE. 

Got it? 

At NO point did anyone, let alone the MW check baby’s heartrate yesterday. To say I’m angry is an understatement and I will be pointing this out to someone when we get to hospital.

So that’s that.

I wish I’d never had that bloody sweep. 

It really doesn’t pay to f*ck with nature.

13 days to go

8 hours until induction

38 Weeks Pregnant

Terrible night here with aches and pains that I couldn’t decide were Braxton Hicks, early labour or just general third trimester aches and pains.

The anticipation is killing me. They adopt a early/latent stage labour, bump up to second stage then stop and it’s doing my head in.

I don’t think I’d worry quite so much if we weren’t 70 minutes from the hospital.

I have spent most of this morning sobbing as I don’t know what’s happening and we’ve got to go to the hospital for a consultants appointment and now I’m packing DS’ bag in case I am in labour and by the time we get there they’ll say stay, or come back later which will then mean back up (not ideal) plan for DS had to kick in.

I just wish things would progress or they say today that I’m 5-6 cm and suggest I stay in and break my waters to get things moving. 

Not knowing is killing me.

We have just got back from hospital. They are short staffed so we were 3/4 hour late in (contracting every 5 minutes) didn’t see my consultant, the guy I did see didn’t have a clue what the plan was supposed to be. When I said I thought I was having contractions he organised a MW assessment and told me she would arrange an induction appointment and left. That was it. He had no clue as to when consultant wanted to induce, he said at 39 whereas it’s been 38 all along.

Saw MW who said I was definitely having contractions but hadn’t really progressed from what MW wrote on Tuesday so sent me home… an hour and a half away. I told her how quickly I progressed with DS but she still said she had no reason to keep me in but has booked me in for induction on Monday at 12 noon if nothing happens over the weekend.

They didn’t do another sweep, they didn’t do a liquor Doppler test that my consultant insisted be done at this appointment, they didn’t even check baby’s heart rate. I’m seething.

Cue 90 minutes drive home, in an uncomfortable van with a grumpy toddler whilst contracting every 5 minutes. 

I’m livid, emotional, terrified I won’t make it to hospital in time should things progress here. I’m a wreck, quite simply.


Now Peanut is ready for its grand entrance it is still building up a layer of fat to help maintain its body temperature on the outside. 
All of its organs are well developed, though the lungs will be the last to reach full maturity.

Peanut, according to last fundal length measurement is 39cm long, about the length of a leek and I dread to imagine what weight it is now.


Not a lot more I can say that I haven’t said above.

Losing mucus plug like you wouldn’t believe, in fact sometimes so much I think my waters are going.

At the point of writing this at 1805 I’m still contracting every 5 minutes and they are fairly strong but perfectly bearable, like a very bad period pain. Peeing every three minutes. Tired from bad sleep last night. Emotional and grumpy.

As you can tell, I’m a real joy today 😉

14 days to go

3 days until induction

Nothing (37 Weeks + 6)

Still no baby.

Another evening and night of backache and sporadic cramping but nothing else.

I’m going to go for a bit of a walk down to a friend’s house this afternoon to see if that’ll bring anything on. It’ll be interesting to see whether these mild contractions have done anything to further efface my cervix by the time I go to hospital tomorrow.

In the meantime I’ve done some serious nesting whilst moving changing unit back into a usable position and transforming it from a toy storage unit back to it’s intended purpose. Of course whilst everything was being reorganised I took the time to scrub skirting boards and carpets. Anyway, it’s done now and more toys boxed up for the move.

Talking of the move. Apparently the NHBC has been booked in for Friday so should a certificate be granted then the soft date of 28th April should become a firm and fixed moving date. I’m not getting excited, they said February/March so forgive me Bovis for feeling a little unimpressed.

The spare part for the SnüzPod arrived today too so that’s another job off the list. I love it! Hopefully I’ll love it as much as I did the BedNest when in actual use.

So does that make me ready for baby? Heck no!!!! But then I’m not sure you’re ever Totally ready, are you?

15 days to go

Post Sweep Contractions (37 Weeks + 5)

After the sweep yesterday I was plagued by period like pains and backache all afternoon and by early evening they were forming a regular pattern is between 8 and 10 minutes. To say I was on a heightened state of alert is an understatement.

I told the people whom will be involved in DS’ care and told them to be on standby. My brother is very inconveniently away on holiday this week so have had to go with my back up plan which isn’t ideal but it will have to do.

I think I pretty much sobbed on and off all evening worrying about DS. I hate the thought of him being upset and not being there to comfort him and worse, being the cause of his misery.

According to the contraction counter the pains got to such that I was in second stage labour so went to bed early. During the night I was getting back ache, but there’s nothing new there. When I got up to use the toilet (which was often as since Sweep I can’t stop peeing) all pains stopped.

Ironically it would have been the best time to go into labour as DS slept soundly until 7.30am by which time (judging by the speed of DS’ arrival) OH would have been back home to fetch him.

Needless to say nothing happened last night and today I’ve been hit with sporadic cramping and back ache, increased bloody discharge which I’m taking as my ‘show’, but not a lot else. However I shan’t be straying too far from home, that’s for sure!

Nappies arrived today so bag is now totally packed and ready by the front door should anything happen tonight.

I managed to get all of DS’ treats bought for when we’re not here, showed G (my friend who will come straight over to watch Noah until back up arrives from home) where we keep everything and she tells me her Bag is packed and she’s packed toys and distractions for DS. She is an absolute gem and I’m really not sure what I’d do without her.

I am extremely emotional. I keep looking at DS and want to sob. He really has no clue as to how his life will change and I feel so guilty about it. He has been the centre of my world since his birth, my main focus, my entire life since November ’13 has revolved around him and him alone and now that won’t be the case anymore and it breaks my heart to think that he will think I don’t love him as much anymore. I find myself just staring at him, absorbing every part of him, hugging and kissing him all the time, watching him sleep for half an hour after settling him.

I want him to know that I’m having this baby for him, aswell as for us. He’s so excited for it’s arrival but you know he has no idea how it’s going to change his life.

I pray he doesn’t feel left out when it arrives.

16 days to go

Stretch and Sweep (37 Weeks + 4)

Today was the day for my stretch and sweep at the MW.

She told me straight away if baby isn’t engaged and cervix isn’t favourable she won’t even bother trying.

Secretly I was hoping that my cervix wasn’t favourable and it wouldn’t happen. But it was, very favourable, and I did have it done and now I’m quietly shitting myself.

MW said I was 2-3 cm dilated already, but this could be down to the fact I’ve already had a baby. That my cervix was soft and my waters were bulging which means she thinks if my waters were to be broken then labour would ensue. 

Baby’s head is nicely engaged but not touching cervix due to bubble of waters between head and cervix which is why she thought if waters break I would go into spontaneous labour.

The actual sweep itself was almost verging on brutal. She did warn me she wasn’t gentle, but crikey…. that?!

Since this I have been having cramps and I’m still having them now, 8 hours later.

I’ve frantically sewn up the shawl, washed it and it’s now drying.

I’m panicking because I’ve still so much to do and I’m worried tonight will be the night… I’m just not sure whether these cramps are something, or nothing.

Now DS is settled for the night (please god let him sleep all night tonight) I’m going to go and sit and time this cramps and see if there is any order to them.

A baby tonight?

Eek! Who knows?!

17 days to go.

Preparations (37 Weeks + 3)

Before finally packing my hospital bag I found myself making a list of final preparations that need to be done before Peanut makes it’s debut. 

Anyone who knows me knows I don’t *do* lists, like NEVER. However with the state of my disorganised brain and the fact I’m having my first sweep tomorrow, so potential for an imminent arrival, I thought, in this case, a list is most definitely required

So here it is:

I actually thought I had done everything and I’m a little perturbed as to how much I have yet to do.

I had a fantastic surprise today that OHs mum has bought us the SnuzPod we wanted so borrowing one and purchasing a new mattress is now obsolete. 

So imagine my excitement when it arrived and I got to setting it up, only to discover on assembling it this afternoon a part is faulty so have had to contact them, fill out a form and now wait for a replacement part to be sent… I am beyond gutted!!! I was so excited to get it ready today 🙁

Nappies were dispatched today so I’ll expect them either tomorrow or Wednesday so that’ll be another thing crossed off the list.

I’ve been stuck in all day today awaiting SnuzPod delivery and OpenReach engineer and starting to feel a little desperate about not being able to get out and buy DS’ and Peanut’s presents to each other but am going to try and get that ticked off tomorrow morning.

Then it’s sweep at 1220 if everything’s ‘favourable’.

Wish me luck

18 days to go

Family Time as Three (37 Weeks + 2)

What a stunningly beautiful day it’s been today, so we’ve made the most of it.

It occurred to me this morning that this could, potentially, be our last weekend as a family of three and seeing as sunshine has been such a rarity of late I wanted to make the most of it.

Housework, chores and the like can wait. I wanted to make memories with just the three of us before our world changes, once again, forever and takes on a whole new dynamic. I wanted DS to be our main focus whilst we can. I wanted to make today special.

The day started with our usual weekly Parent and Toddler swim and due to lack of playmates we left earlier than usual (we usually stay for softplay afterwards).

We came home, grabbed lunch, a bucket and spade and headed down to the beach for a walk. Although a little nippy it really was beautiful down there and short of a very close shave with a huge rock and our heads (OH accidentally threw a rock up instead of out and it very narrowly missed mine and DS as I grabbed him and hunched over him to protect him). 

This traumatic incident was followed by a lovely walk along the canal followed by some really touristy behaviour as we took to the canal on a Beetle Pedalo. 

This is something we’ve promised DS for probably over a year and never got round to. It was fantastic despite it being possibly the most uncomfortable half hour of my life as my cumbersome form flopped onto the back of said pedalo whilst leaning over front seat holding onto DS’ life jacket. 

DS absolutely loved it (though we did have tantrums when we had to go back which was a slight shame).

We then paid a visit to the Heritage Centre, ice cream, a run around on the castle grounds and a nice walk back home.

All in all, despite having a very tired little boy who’s mood deteriorated pretty quickly resulting in an early bedtime, we had a really lovely day. 

A day of firsts.

A day of anecdotes

A day of memories

A day as three.

Hospital Bag (37 Weeks + 1)

I have been gathering things together for the hospital bag for a week or so now. I have bought pretty much everything I need it’s just the packing now that OH is home and has brought my bag back.

So what’s in it?

Toilet Bag:

  • Haemorrhoid Cream: An absolute ESSENTIAL. After giving birth to DS I had the most horrific piles which meant evacuating my bowels was quite a traumatic and scary experience which I put off. I was using Anusol to absolutely zero effect. My MW finally told me about Anusol with Hydrocortisone on about day 5 post birth and it was a revelation. Literally one application was enough so that was THE first thing packed in my toilet bag.
  • Shower gel
  • Shampoo and Conditioner
  • Toothbrush and toothpaste
  • Mouthwash 
  • Facial cleansing wipes
  • Moisturiser
  • Hand cream
  • Lip balm 
  • Deodorant
  • Hair bands
  • Hairbrush
  • Lansinoh nipple cream
  • Maternity pads
  • Breast pads 
  • Tissues 
  • Body butter
  • Make-up (ever hopeful 😂)

My Bag: 

  • Maternity notes
  • Birthing T-shirt: I actually fully intended on just picking up an oversized men’s t from a charity shop but ended up in Peacocks and picked up a very large nightshirt for £7
  • Nursing nightie
  • Nightgown
  • Books (I may be going in for induction so I’m not taking any boredom risks should it take a few days. I haven’t managed to read more than half a book in three years so hoping I’ll get a little time to do some)
  • iPad 
  • iPhone & Charger
  • FitBit Charger (be interesting to see how many calories I burn as well as steps walked 😂)
  • Jeans and Top for going home in
  • 5 pairs of proper BIG maternity pants (black)
  • Nursing bra (black)

Baby’s Bag:

I may appear to have packed a lot more than other blogs/sites recommend for baby but considering DS used up all 3 of his babygros within 6 hours of being born, due to vomit and our clumsiness, I’m not taking any chances this time.

  • Water wipes
  • Nappies (awaiting delivery of Naty by Nature nappies that we used with DS after our real nappy ideals were blown out the water)
  • 7 x Vests
  • 6 x Baby Gros
  • 3 x Hats
  • 3 x Cardigans
  • 2 x Scratch Mitts (as a couple of the babygros don’t have integrated ones)
  • Going home outfit
  • Blanket
  • Shawl that my mum knitted for my future children before she died.
  • 7 x Muslins 

DS’ Bag:

This is something I’m putting off until the last minute due to the fact if I go into labour spontaneously he’ll be staying at home anyway. Should I be booked in for induction then I’ll have time to pack for him so currently this is the list for him:

  • Underwear
  • 3 x Trousers
  • 5 x Tops
  • 2 x Jumpers
  • 3 x Pyjamas
  • Coat
  • Puddle suit
  • Wellies
  • Teddies: Bing, Rabbit, Doggie and Tiger
  • Toys (Pirate ship, Pirate island and accompanying accoutrement, pirate sword, iPad, colouring books and crayons, remote control digger)
  • Scooter and helmet
  • Books

In addition to all this lot there is, of course, the car seat in which I will be bringing the second of my babies home in (God willing) ❤️

    20 days to go