Four Months Old

On the 9th our beautiful baby girl turned four months old. Every day I thank god for entrusting not one, but two wonderful children onto my care and amaze myself that I've managed to keep both happy, healthy and alive!!!

So what has this last month brought?

Vaccinations 

On the 20th July we took Peanut for her second load of vaccinations. No appointment mix up this time.

As ever I was an emotional wreck, DS desperately wanted to comfort her and OH failed to turn up on time so I had to hold her. Thank GOD it was only one injection and the oral this time, I'm not sure I'd have coped otherwise.

I can't begin to express how much I struggle with inflicting pain on my child even though I know it's a worthy cause. How the hell do people cope with willingly taking their babies to have their ears pierced?

Sleep

Peanut continues to do stints of atleast 7 hours at night, generally more subject to environmental factors (Estate traffic, horns, OH snoring, DS barking or coming in at an ungodly hour, etc).

Nap wise she still sleeps whenever she can subject again to environmental factors. As a general rule of thumb she'll wake for 2 hours then need a nap which can last anywhere between half an hour and 2 hours.

Development

I suppose the biggest development in this last month is Peanut's attempts to self soothe as she has now (on the 2nd August) found her thumb to suckle. I can't tell you what a relief this was.

She has also succeeded in rolling from her front to back but this is still sporadic and far from consistent. She's mastered the 'sky diving' pose like a pro.

She has mastered 'feeding' herself, usually grabbing my fingers and putting them in her mouth.

When awake she is so alert and is making full use of her activity mat but loved nothing more than watching and studying DS' behaviour whom often gets her giggling like crazy.

She's definitely become more 'fluid' in her movements this month. Following things with her eyes and moving her head is a graceful fluid motion now rather than a jerky

one.

She continues to blow bubbles and push saliva out her mouth for fun, I forgot how much I hated this development as everything is drenched within 5 minutes. Bibs don't help because she just eats them or pulls them away lol

She squirms and 'travels' vast distances quite quickly by doing this and despite being put to bed at the top of the crib (don't worry, there are no bedclothes for her to disappear under) she's soon right at the bottom with her bottom against the foot of the crib and legs in the air.

She is often found screaming and babbling away and is always 'conversing' with us. She loves being sung and talked to. She delights in the intonations in our voices.

At the moment she seems really unsettled when we're out and about, I've tried the carrycot, car seat and all the carriers I have but nothing seems to help, whether this is due to her needing a nap at these times or not I'm not sure. I do hope it's that simple.

New skills

Thumb sucking

Rolling (not consistently)

Grasping and 'Feeding'

Laughing properly

Growth 

I got Peanut weighed on the 3rd August and she was a whopping 13Ib 1.5oz and is following the 25th centipede line nicely. 

Clothing wise she is now out of all her newborn stuff and slowly reaching the end of her 0-3month stuff though the 3-6 month clothing drowns her somewhat.

Me

So what's happening with me? Not a great deal I suppose.

We're muddling through as best we can, everything is getting done but I'm just constantly tired which makes dealing with the increasing tantrums from the 3 year old extremely difficult. It's even more difficult because the tantrums are probably born out of boredom and this awful weather coupled with dealing with a baby and the fact it's the summer holidays makes it very difficult to entertain him. The few wet weather activities we have in this godforsaken place (namely softplay) are so few that they are rammed beyond compare making the whole experience more stressful than helpful.

I long for summers that I had as a child. It would make life much easier and would certainly help everybodies moods.

It was my birthday on the 3rd which was, as usual, a complete flop. No effort was made by anyone so it was basically an average day with a few cards and a present thrown at me that showed no sign of thought whatsoever. Perhaps I expect too much, perhaps this is it now I don't have a mother to spoil me. Perhaps I should return the 'favour' instead of going all out 🙄 *Birthday whinge over*

OH had his vasectomy on the 7th which has been 'fun'. Bless him, he doesn't deal well with things like this, you'd think his penis had been removed with a rusty blade and fed to him 🙄

Weight

10 stone 4 Ib. It's been a bum few weeks really on the weight loss front. I had a couple of weeks of only losing half a pound then a 1.5 Ib loss and then last week I maintained (this was an achievement seeing as it was my birthday week as I over indulged with a mediocre curry take out, prosecco and chocolate cake, thanks to Gemma!).

Three Months Old

SLOW DOWN TIME.

I fear it’s going so much faster this time round and Peanut isn’t helping things by doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing yet. It makes me want to weep.

Every stage in a child’s development is ace and as you’re going through them you think “yup, this is my favourite”, even if it brings with it tantrums and answering back, the sheer joy of watching your baby/toddler/child develop new skills obliterates those ‘tricky’ bits associated with their progression. However, I’ll always treasure those newborn days the most and we have most definitely bid farewell to Peanut’s so that’s it for newborns in my world 😦

This month we started baby massage. I did this course with Noah and it’s such a lovely way of connecting with baby, though having DS hanging off me at the same time means I can’t quite devote all my attention to her currently. Another mum is there with her new son who was on the course with me before only with her middle child. It’s like we’ve stepped back in time.

Peanut:

Smiling and Laughing: 

It never takes much effort to make Peanut smile, that dimple is readily shown off and she is fast heading towards giggling. She is definitely making laughing attempts but it still sounds more like a barking than a giggle.

Physical Development:

Her grasp is vice like and once she’s got hold she won’t let go in a hurry, this is usually my hair, or on the odd scary occasion my loop earrings.

She loves nothing better than being sat up and is even desperate to weight bear in a standing position.

She is blowing bubbles like crazy and pretty much wetting all her tops in ten minutes flat because of it.

Back shuffling is a nightmare especially when changing her nappy, she’ll travel off the thing just as you’re attempting to do it up, I thought I had another few months before nappy changes became a mission. In her SnuzPod she’ll try and do a 180 degree turn and probably would if she had more room, we often find her wedged diagonally across the crib and bunched up right at the bottom.

Emotion:

At the risk of tempting fate she’s a blissfully happy and content baby. Rarely she cries unless excessively tired and very ready to greet you with a smile.

She loves her bathtime and getting dried and ready for bed under her Noah’s Ark mobile whilst I sing ‘The Animals Go In 2 by 2′, the combination make her quite giddy.

Leaps:

She has now gone through the first leap, Patterns and is now totally mesmerised by anything with a pattern meaning she is quite entertained when in her pram due to the patterns inside and is now happy to play on her activity mat (a godsend). However she still prefers being on the rug her granny made her with a “That’s not my…” book and her toys propped up in front of her. She isn’t one for lying in her basket staring at the ceiling, she much prefers being in the thick of it which is a challenge when DS is cantering around the living room pretending to be a highway man.

We are heading into the second leap which is the world of Smooth Transitions this week.

Sleep: 

Her sleep continues to amaze me. She is still doing atleast a 7 hour stint at night, often 8 and sometimes even 10 or 12. Napping during the day is more challenging, on the other hand. Between DS waking her up and me having to wake her to drag her to DS’ groups etc it’s difficult to form any sort of definite routine.

Currently she’ll wake in the morning, feed then have a nap. Then the rest of the day is pretty much trying to get her to nap when and where we can. Unfortunately putting her in the SnuzPod in our room doesn’t always provide much joy due to all the builders outside so I really need to sort her cot out so she can nap in her room at the back of the house (need to repaint cot when next hot spell arrives).

Weight: 12Ib 9oz

Me:

All in all everything is going ok with me. I’m still feeling guilty about not spending the time with DS that I used to and not dedicating time to Peanut either. It’s a constant juggle and one I’m still trying to master. Needless to say I spend no time on me but hey, it’s not forever, right?

Have felt a bit low this last week or so but have put down to hormones, I’ve felt decidedly ‘periody’ which sent OH into a panic and resulted in him purchasing a pregnancy test (don’t fret, it was negative) and it got me thinking… not that I want two under 1! But that I’ll miss not ever being pregnant or having another child again. As always happens with me and the people I seem to become friends with, when they’re down I try everything to pick them up, when I’m down I don’t see anyone for dust. In fact they go as far as totally ignoring me. Have spent a lot of time chatting to my friends from home (the ones that have been there since school) and I realise how much I miss home. 

Hair is falling out now and I’m often found unravelling it from around Peanuts fingers and toes.

I started slimming world seriously this month and have managed to lose, despite having 6 HEAs and knowing I hang onto weight whilst breastfeeding. It’s slow at 2Ib in the first week, and only 1 last week but it’s losses so I’m thinking it’ll be a case of slow and steady will win the race.

Linea Nigra is still evident. Pelvic floor is getting there but I have been incredibly slack with my exercises this time round, having said that I can be trusted to sneeze but wouldn’t guarantee a trampoline session would end well.

My core is horrific but I’m planking everyday to try and make a start on it’s repair. I really need to make some time to do some yoga but currently find I’m doing something with the house when I have a rare child free time (I say child free, that’s when DS is at school and Peanut asleep)

Weight: 10 st 8.5 Ib 

**Sorry for 8 day delay in posting, it’s been manic lately**

Two Months Old

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time goes past a) the older you get and b) when you have children.

Someone once said to me, when DS was little, about parenthood “these are the longest days but the shortest years” and she was so true!!!

The days are pretty much a haze of activity from the moment we wake up (well, from the moment DS wakes us up) until I fall into bed.

We are developing a new routine that kind of works, until OH Comes home, then it goes out the window.

This last week Peanut has been asleep by 8 in her SnuzPod giving me enough time to tidy the kitchen and lounge then go to bed myself and it’s been working really well… until last night when OH was home and I’d all went to pot!!! 

Peanut:

I suppose the biggest, most monumental development that’s been made is our little beauty is sleeping through already. To be exact she started doing this on the 27th May, at 6 Weeks of age, with a 7 hour stint and hasn’t done less since. She even squeezed in a 10 hourer one night. I’m astounded and feel very unnerved by it as DS didn’t go longer than 3 hours at this age and that was a good night!

This has come with a minor drawback… I’m worrying now that my supply is reducing and when I got her weighed yesterday she had only put on 4oz since her 6 week review 2 weeks ago (more about this below).

She is now smiling easily and readily and really doesn’t need much encouragement (DS made us work incredibly hard for a glimmer of a smile at this age). Her first smile emerged at about 5 Weeks.

Her latest trick is climbing (standing). She pushes up on our laps with her legs really strongly to get higher up our chests. This girl is not hanging around and is desperate to get on in this world.

She cooing and gurgling beautifully and at the weekend she did her first attempt at a giggle, it made my heart explode a little.

Weight: 4970kg or 10Ib 14oz. 

This is an increase of just 4oz in 2 Weeks. This has meant she has dropped onto the 25th centile line. Health Visitors never like to see babies drop (or dramatically gain) centiles so I have to go back next week to weigh her again. I, and they, are not unduly concerned seeing as she has started sleeping through in this time frame so isn’t getting as much milk but we’ll see what happens next week. 

I’m not worried deep down, but now I’m worrying about my supply and quality of milk… cue me feeding even more now!

Which brings me onto…

Feeding:

Peanut has mastered this brilliantly. I feed her on demand, as is my belief. She only takes what she needs and when she’s had enough she comes off. This is alien after DS who seemed permanently attached to me. We’ve had a couple of large sick-ups which I’ve been caught short on, not being used to it. DS was a very sicky baby so I always had a wad of muslins to hand but Peanut never is so forget to have them close by. On the whole though she keeps it all down and is a very efficient feeder.

Vaccinations: only got an appointment through yesterday (after having to pay £1.50 to collect it from the post office as they hadn’t put the correct stamp on it) and the appointment was for half an hour later so I’ve had to rearrange… 2 bloody weeks!!! Why they can’t do them on a normal appointment I’ll never understand. No, it has to be a Thursday and it has to be in the afternoon… ludicrous.

Me:

Weight: I haven’t been to get weighed again yet. I was going to go this week but DS liked up a fuss about wanting to go to softplay and seeing as he’s kind of been pushed aside slightly since Peanut arrived I thought he benefit more from it than me constantly telling him to be quiet at a meeting. I hope to go next week, though.

 I’m not relishing being told how fat I am. Jelly belly is still horrifically evident and with the sudden temperature increase we have had over the last couple of weeks (forgetting the horrific weather of the last couple of days) this has depressed me considerably. I’ve pulled out all my ‘fat lady’ clothing which, even more depressingly, don’t fit so have had to order a size 14 skirt from Next and am praying that it is loose on me. I don’t deal well with weight gain and having got to my ideal weight just before I fell pregnant I feel even more depressed about it.

I have been loosely following SW plan but find my self control has entered the Bermuda Triangle. The last couple of days I’ve been really strict and just hope I don’t lose it. I need to start attending meetings but it’s just so hard with a toddler (who doesn’t *really* want to be there) and a newborn (is she still classed as newborn?).

Lochia: This finally ceased at 6.5 Weeks post partum.

Linea Nigra: Still horribly visible and filling my belly button so that area just looks like I am one of the great unwashed.

Feeding: Touch wood I have had no issues whatsoever in this department. No mastitis, no blanched nipples, no engorgement (except when she slept 10 hours one night). No leakages (again, except the 10 hotter), they have been working very efficiently. It’s been an absolute dream. Long may it continue.

At the Risk of Tempting Fate…

… it would appear we have a sleeper.

For 4 nights running now Peanut has ‘slept through’ meaning she has slept from 9/10pm until 5/6am. Last night she did a whopping 7pm until 5am… TEN WHOLE HOURS!!!

After DS you can’t begin to understand what a relief this is. DS first slept through after his third birthday, before this he’d wake atleast once, often 2 or 3 times. Now still, at 3.5yo, a sleep through isn’t guaranteed but is, on the whole the norm, thankfully. Even still his day starts from anywhere between 4.30am and 6 (the latter being a rarity). 

To have a sleeper is alien, I actually thought they were an urban myth and the mothers that bragged about them at baby group, complete and utter liars. 

But it’s true.

They exist!!!

It’s official, my 7 week old sleeps better than my 3 year old.

Of course now I’ve said all of this, she’ll never do it again!

6-8 Week Reviews

Last week our baby girl turned 6 weeks. 6 weeks!!! Where on earth did that time go.

This meant it brought about her 6-8 week reviews with both our GP and the HV. 

She saw our GP on Monday 22nd May at 3pm. Luckily OH was actually at home so I didn’t have to take both children with me and could just concentrate on Peanut which was ideal.

This check with the GP is to check for any physical developmental issues regarding Peanut. As you can see from the below photo there are no concerns and she’s scored a ‘Satisfactory’ for all points excluding hearing which of course was done at her Newborn review.


He also had a quick check with me. Asked about my mood, my ‘healing’ and any concerns I may have of which I mentioned the tenderness of my stomach. Did I mention this in previous posts? I think I did. During pregnancy I had a tenderness on my stomach, it was sore to the touch in a particular spot on my abdomen which hadn’t gone away yet and I was concerned I may have split my stomach muscles, a condition known as Diastasis Recti. I have noticed I have a ‘peak’ there and can’t explain how tender it is. Anyway he had a poke around and doesn’t seem to think there’s a problem so to go back in a month or so if it’s the same. 

Of course I forgot to mention the numbness in my hands, I’ve got so used to it now I don’t think about it so now I’ll have to go back again, a right royal pain in the rectum with two children in tow.

So all in all this appointment went like clockwork. No concerns for anyone.

The Health Visitor review was on Friday 26th May at our local Children’s Centre at 9.30am. The timing was perfect as DS was at school so again to focus purely on Peanut.

This visit took about 45 minutes. We discussed Peanut’s development and my own mental health. She also measured and weighed Peanut and I discovered that they do not measure at birth anymore (so my not finding her length wasn’t to do with me developing sudden blindness) as the stretching out of their legs could further aggravate any undiagnosed hip problems… who knew?!

We also discussed things that’ll happen between now and her next review at a year old. Such as weaning, safety when becoming mobile (the usual stairgates, hot liquids, hair straighteners, nappy sacks, rolling off high surfaces; sofas, changing tables and beds), sleep safety and any concerns I may have.

Anyway, developmentally and physically she is doing well.

Peanut:

  • Smiling – Yes
  • Making Eye Contact – Yes
  • Following Movements – Yes
  • Vocalising – Yes
  • Strong Limb Movements – Yes
  • Hands Gripping – Yes
  • Any Hearing Concerns – No
  • Weight – 4.80kg 10Ib 9oz (a nearly 2Ib gain in 3 weeks!) 50th centile 
  • Length – 54.5cm, 50th centile 
  • Head Circumference – 38.3cm, 75th centile 


Me:

No concerns, no low mood, no changes in personal circumstances, no domestic abuse (though I did joke that I was close to it due to usual ignorance 😂).

So there we have it no follow up until she’s a year old but to go to weigh in clinic once a month.

Does this mean she’s now no longer considered a newborn? When does that title change to baby? Hmmm, something to ponder once again 

1 Month Old 

Yesterday our beautiful little girl turned a month old. Such a small amount of time but already I’m cursing time for going too quickly and can’t remember, nor imagine, life without her in it.

The last four weeks have been a whirlwind romance, from the moment I set eyes on her, before I set eyes on her, I was besotted and have fallen deeper and deeper in love with her.

I worried I wouldn’t have enough love to accommodate her aswell as her amazing older brother but I needn’t have worried. It’s true, your heart is like a tardis!

I worried that I would have to ‘borrow’ love from DS to give to Peanut and that my love for him would lessen, as it turns out watching how he dotes on his ‘baby sisty’ has made me love him even more, if that was at all possible.

We are currently settling in to not only life as a family of four, but also into a new family home now that we have finally left our stinky one bed flat. 

Peanut:

Weight: At last week’s weigh in clinic Peanut weighed 8Ib 11oz

After initial concerns about her weight gain we have no worries anymore, she is nicely following the 50th centile.

She has been plagued by a blocked nose pretty much since birth so saline nasal spray is a constant companion

Sleep: Now this is pretty good. DS used to sleep and eat, eat and sleep, ad nauseum pretty much in two hourly cycles. Peanut, on the other hand, since birth has had large amounts of wakeful time which I thought unheard of for a newborn, but also long stints of sleep, especially at night which is a result. The only problem being she can take up to two hours to resettle, whereas DS took half hour to feed and go back to sleep, it occurs to me that you can never win.

Feeding: After an initial wobble where she didn’t patch very well, didn’t seem interested and fed for a small amount of time she’s now come into her own. Her latch is excellent and she comes away when she’s done which DS never did. She clusters late afternoon which is far better for my sanity than late evening. All is well (fingers crossed) with our bfing journey.

Poos: We’ve just had a spate of no poos which isn’t concerning, especially for EBF babies. 4 days she went without going, if you get my drift and since she started going again it is a perfect Dijon mustard consistency and to the point of properly filling the nappy now. It’s lost that newborn flecked appearance.

Me:

Lochia: I am now at the pinky turning yellow part of this delightful stage of post partum recovery.

If you were wondering what the stages were…


Weight: I bit the bullet and went to Slimming World last week and I’m officially back at my starting weight again + 4Ibs… depressing! I also couldn’t have chosen a worst week to attempt to start as moving house has meant 3 nights of takeaways, no lunches, junky breakfasts and lots of sweets, chocolates and biscuits. This week however I’m on it having eaten all the crap that was in the fridge.

Boobs: Are the size of boulders but behaving, no blocked ducts as of yet.

**Posted a week late due to lack of internet.**

Happy Due Day

Today is the day our beautiful little girl should have been due but instead she has been part of our world for 12 whole days.

12 days we’ve loved her, 12 days we have all doted on her, only 12 days and yet already it feels like she’s never not been part of our lives.

Having said all that it’s also been 12 days of an incredible emotional rollercoaster.

Tiredness is crippling, not starting well with having been awake over 29 hours before she even entered the world and trying to establish a routine that suits everyone is really hard, not made any easier by the fact we are all still couped up in a one bedroom flat.

The guilt I feel where DS is concerned can be all consuming at times. I feel he’s constantly being told to be careful around DD, to not be too noisy, to not be too playful, to be more grown up than he is simply because he now has a baby sister and I’m desperate for him to not feel that she is the reason his life is now different.

Don’t get me wrong he is incredible with her. He dotes on her and regularly comes and sits next to her and tells her how much he loves her. He gently rubs her cheek and head when she cries or wakes up. He’s desperate to help in anyway and is fiercely protective of her. When she had her heel prick test he kept either telling the midwife to leave his sisty alone, or hiding under the desk, blocking his ears because he was concerned for her wellbeing and didn’t like to hear her cry.

He’s not once shown any animosity towards her, nor jealousy, just love and affection and I couldn’t be prouder of him. 

I thought I would struggle to find enough love to share between the two of them, I never thought for a moment I could love him any more than I already did but there it is, mounting up like a volcano ready to explode.

I’m hoping as I recover more fully, my hormones settle down and OH is back at work things will start slipping into place.

Sleep:

Barring the less than ideal sleeping arrangements if trying to get four of us asleep in the same room without one or the other waking the rest up she actually does good. 

Peanut and I sleep in the lounge and although settling her in her crib is hit or miss when she is asleep (what’s new) she has massive blocks of sleep throughout the night, waking between 2 and 3 times.

Feeding:

She was actually a bit slow on the uptake where feeding is concerned which was totally different to DS but she’s getting there. She doesn’t feed for as long as DS did and doesn’t tend to suckle for comfort either which is different too. That being said she didn’t gain any weight in the 3 days between heel prick test and MW sign off at 10 days but she didn’t seem overly concerned.

Me:

Barring hormones and tiredness I’m doing ok. I’m recovering well all the usual birthing aches and pains have now subsided. Stitches are still a little tender but not as painful. Grazing had now cleared up and piles have subsided greatly. Boobs are holding out ok so far and no real issues since when my milk first came in and DD wasn’t draining them properly.

I’ll be happier when we get some sort of routine established but I’m figuring that may take a little more time and won’t be able to properly do until OH is back at work and working away again which is next week. I’m not entirely sure as to whether I’m looking forward to it or dreading it, I wish I had some form of support network but then I’ve always wished that and it’s something that I can’t have so just need to ‘man-up’ and get on with it.

It won’t last forever and I know that it’ll be a blink of an eye before DD is DS’ age and he will be at school and I’ll be yearning for these early days once more and wishing I could do it all over again.



Day Six

Midwife rang this morning, finally, and asked that we go up to see her at midday for the Day 5 (go figure) heel prick test and other matters.

DD was feeding when the ‘deed’ was done and it didn’t go down too well. DS barely reacted but he bled well so minimal intervention was required, DD on the other hand wasn’t giving up her claret easily meaning lots of foot squeezing which just added insult to injury. DS wasn’t impressed at all that the MW had hurt his sisty and either put a protective hand on her head, told the MW to stop or hid under the table blocking his ears… he is such a caring little boy it makes my heart bleed.

After the appointment we went up to the Garden Centre for lunch and softplay. Afterwards we did their Easter Clue Hunt and DS won a Teddy and some chocolate eggs.

Baby:

She did good last night. Cluster fed from about 2030-2300 but then slept until 3 then from 4-6. I’d forgotten how draining cluster feeding is.

Umbilical site looks good.

Nappies still urite clear and she’s having plenty of wet nappies and passing plenty of stools.

Weight: 7Ib 15oz meaning she has dropped half of what they consider normal, this is good considering she barely fed for the first couple of days.

Me:

Woke with enormous feet again. Need to suss out this sleeping malarkey to prevent this.

Bleeding minimal now, turning watery and slowing down

MW checked stitches and all is knitting well down there, barring one small area hence the discomfort.

Usual questions were asked to assess for PND and a revelation hit… she asked whether I had a wobble when my milk came in to which I replied no, then it occurred to me that this was the same night I broke down because of my guilt over DS, so that explains that massive wobble.

On the subject of mood I am actually ok, despite being tired and sore I’m absolutely fine. Probably helped by the amazing weather we’ve been privvy too. It’s nice to get out and about for walks with the whole family.

Visitors: Granny and Grandad 

Day Five

It’s Good Friday today so we decided to have a family outing to a local(ish) Easter Egg Hunt at a garden centre in Lifton. Met up with Gemma and her family and Kate and hers so it was a fantastic day for the kids.

It was brilliant. DS had such an amazing time, he loved the tractor and trailer ride and excitedly ran around the woods collecting the eggs. DD spent the time sleeping in her carrier barring one woodland feed break. 

The journey home however was interesting as she decided that was the time to have a cluster feed, so three stops and 2 hours later we managed to travel the 40 minute journey home.

On arrival we had a visit from OHs work colleague who bought an Easter egg for DS and a cutie little dress and legging set for DD, her very first dress!

Baby: 
Normal poos at last 

Umbilical hanging on by a thread… came off by evening… yay! DS is so desperate to help change her nappy and we’re waiting for the cord to heal before letting him loose.

Cluster feeding has taken hold and I’d forgotten how exhausting it is.

Me:


The hunger has started, oh my word. To the point of the shakes and sweats and I NEED to eat.

Still moderate bleeding

Grazing appears to have gone, atleast it doesn’t sting to pee anymore, though stitches site still appears sore.

Piles, well let’s just say they’re still causing issues

Legs have finally stopped aching and the only residual ache I now have are in my shoulders and hand where the cannula had caused a significant bruise

Cold still going strong

Still thoroughly enjoying having thick hair and strong nails

I settled DS at bedtime tonight which was good for both us, I feel so guilty at the moment as he has been my main focus for 3.5 years and now suddenly I barely have time for a cuddle.

Visitors: Paul (OH’s work colleague), Granny and Grandad

Day Four

Still no contact from the midwives.

Met up with the in-laws for brunch at our favourite cafe.

Big news of day is that we announced Peanut’s name. I desperately wanted it to be finalised today as it’s the anniversary of my mums death and finally pinned OH down to settling on it.

He’s been so childish about the whole announcement thing and finally discovered it’s because everyone is pushing for the name so he was fighting against them. I informed him that we can’t keep it secret forever and what he’s doing is ridiculous and I want to register her before she’s 18. Our friend Kate was here at the time so she was the first to officially know (Auntie and Gemma knew the name a while ago but it wasn’t set in stone)

Baby:

Still passing Meconium poos.

Cluster feeding has started but thankfully it’s early evening so bareable, plus this means she’s sleeping fairly decent blocks of sleep through the night.

Umbilical cord still attached.

Still suffering from mild jaundice so am putting her to sleep by the window whilst the weather isn’t great.

Me: 

My milk is most definitely in. My boobs have gone from a C cup to a FF in like 12 hours. She isn’t feeding like DS did so I feel extremely engorged so am massaging them regularly to try and decrease risks of blocked ducts, they are so tender and of course this means I’m banging them a LOT. A bit worried as to why she isn’t feeding but she is having plenty of wet nappies so I’m going by that for now.

Had a massive emotional wobble last night as I went in to transfer DS into bed whilst he slept and sat on his bed sobbing because I miss spending those last few minutes of his day talking to him and cuddling him and singing to him until he falls asleep. I feel awfully guilty that he is now no longer my soul focus, I feel sorry for him. He’s such a kind and lovely little boy, so kind and caring and has handled all this in such an amazing way I’m blown away and can’t help but feel an element of grief for what he has now lost. Ridiculous I know, just can’t seem to help it.

Still aching like crazy and working on my pelvic floor.

Blood flow, medium to heavy.

Visitors: Kate, Granny and Grandad