When you’re pregnant you find that everyone thinks they have the ‘right’ to voice their opinion on your pregnancy. Be it the way you’re carrying, the gender of the child, the size of the child, the quantity of the child(ren) and the size of your bump.
I’m bigger this time round, there really is no denying that. I am now bigger than I was at term with DS.
This is ok with me, except that I’m as uncomfortable with 5 Weeks to go as I was with only 1 week to go with DS.
However, why do people feel it necessary to comment in a negative way?
I’ve lost count of how many people have said “are you sure there is only one in there?”. I have to bite my tongue to not sound too sarcastic when I comment on the amount of scans I’ve had and I’m pretty damn sure the sonographer knows how to detect the number of foestuses!
We wouldn’t walk up to an overweight person and criticise the way they look so why is it ok to comment on something the person has no way of controlling? Especially adding hormones into the mix.
My friends, you know the ones that would actually get away with saying ‘wow, you’re huge’ and you’d happily laugh it off, because you know this information to be true and they were pretty big second time round too. However, when it comes from someone you barely know, or worst, don’t know at all, why is it spat out as a kind of insult?
I went to a new playgroup yesterday (yes! I actually went. On my own. Go me!!) and it was LOVELY. Everyone there were so welcoming, which is often a rarity in the cliquey world of mum’s. Obviously I’m pregnant, obviously I look close to term but not one person said those words. In fact they all just said either, “Not long to go now” avoiding the subject all together, or on my own remark that I’m huge they said “always the same second time round” and stories of their own larger bumps.
Now moving on to soft play afterwards.
What a change.
Not only was I confronted with a “Jesus you’re fat”, yes, someone actually said fat, a mother said this, a mother I’ve never even seen before in my life (it transpires her daughter was vile and I can probably see where she got this from). Even someone I know was heard talking about the size of my bump with another person I used to work with, in a derogative way and laughing about it. Behind my back. She obviously fails to recall that she was equally as big when she was pregnant with her second who is only 6 mo.
The nice people (my friends mainly, but also just generally nice people) have been saying “yes you’re big but it’s such a neat bump, isn’t it?”
What does this mean though?
What is a neat bump?
What is an untidy bump?
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an untidy bump.
I’m assuming it’s because they think I haven’t piled a load of weight on and bump is all ‘up front’. This isn’t true of course. I have piled the weight on, quite rightly so seeing as this child has been solely sponsored by Cadbury’s. It’s just I think I cover the fat bits with what I wear and I think the bump becomes everyone’s main focus so they don’t acknowledge the fat bits lol.
Wait until baby is out, then everyone will see 🙈
Anyway I’ve rambled, my brain is rambling so my writing is following suit it would appear.
I suppose the moral of this post is please think before commenting on someone’s appearance, especially during pregnancy. Negative comments hurt people, when someone is hormonal it hurts probably twice as much, especially when they’ve lost sight of their identity because they’ve fast become something they’re not used to.
There are so many pressures put on us these days and so many when you’re pregnant too. Body image has even invaded this sacred time and you’re made to feel like you need to look like the models in the maternity section of the catalogues whereas in the reality, in the final trimester especially, you feel like you look like crap.
36 days to go
fearfullyhopeful 