Everything about yesterday has left me feeling on edge. I am now filled, once again, with an overwhelming feeling that something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy. Watching Coronation Street at present isn’t helping this feeling.
I’ve never worried about preeclampsia before and certainly not in this pregnancy until I was checking one of my pregnancy apps and read through the list of symptoms… Upper Abdominal Pain! Now I’m pretty much damn sure that all the coughing I’ve been doing lately has strained an abdominal muscle but I can’t help but worry now that it is something more sinister. I mentioned it yesterday and no one was concerned, and in fact were in agreement with me, there are no other warning symptoms but it has just unnerved me and I wish I’d never read the damn thing. Every time I strain, be it through a bowel movement, standing from a seated position, coughing or sneezing, I worry I’m going to hurt the baby.
I’m wondering whether because of all the problems with my neck of late I’ve just hit an all time low. I haven’t been eating properly because I simply haven’t been able to stand and cook anything so have been snacking on crap. I haven’t been able to exercise, not even walk so I’m scared that all these factors + my ‘advanced’ age will go against me.
I’m scared. I’m scared baby will come horribly early. I’m scared worse might happen. I need to fix myself and have no idea how I can do that sensibly and quickly so I can get back on the healthy train.
Stress levels at home are at an all time high and this won’t help matters either.
I need a holiday, just me and my boy I think!