I feel like Ive run a marathon carrying a tonne weight. I’m exhausted. Either I’m just suffering of lack of sleep along with this blasted trapped nerve, or I’ve exited the energy filled stage of pregnancy already.

I do hope it isn’t the latter, I’ve got a long way to go, with a toddler, if that’s the case.

My tummy has been feeling stretched again today and Peanut has been super busy with his feet, kicking me in that spot by your hip that makes you jump out your skin (or is that just me?). Very weird sensation, DS never did that there so it’s very bizarre. I have also noticed it’s movements are becoming more fluid aswell as jabbing now, lots more rolls and turns as well as sharp kicks and thumps.

I have been feeling quite anxious today about our birth schedule/plan and what we’re going to do with DS whilst we’re both in hospital. In an ideal world my brother and SIL would come to my house to look after DS in his own surroundings but it’s an hour and a half drive, or OH would be with DS and I’d get my SIL to partner me but I daren’t even bring that up as a suggestion as I know OH wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at the birth of his child, quite understandably. 

I’m so scared of how DS is going to be. Where he’s going to sleep? Stairs without stair guards. Front doors that could be easily unlocked by him if they settle him in the spare room which is downstairs. I’m just coming up with the most ludicrous scenarios and can’t seem to think of a reasonable solution. All of this is stemming from this induction hanging over my head and the fact that I could be in there some time. If I went into spontaneous labour and it panned out like it did with DS then it wouldn’t be so bad, we’d drop DS off at my brother’s en route to hospital and if he didn’t sleep then so be it but given my speed with DS OH would be picking him back up 4 hours later.

I’m just so wound up about it. I wish my mum was still alive. I wish for so many things to make this easier for him

9 days until scan

96 days to go

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