Thank god for the safe haven of friends. I met up with my dearest friend yesterday who wanted details about the ANC appointment. It was lovely just to talk, air my concerns and fears and not feel like I was battling with someone or that I was an idiot for risking my baby. She offered up no advice (as there really is none to be given), she just listened and heard what I was saying with no judgement, no argument, just compassion. She knows that I wouldn’t harm my baby, she knows I will do what’s best at the time but she also knows how scared I am about the whole induction process. No doubt she’ll bombard me with googled suggestions about how to bring baby here spontaneously when the time comes and for that I love her.

As for the battlefield at home, that unfortunately continues and of course it’s my fault for being unreasonable. , it’s probably more my fault that I’m fed up with absorbing his criticisms without word and am currently arguing back but (call it a pregnancy hormone reaction) I really can’t hold my moods in right now.

This really is where I’m starting to wish I hadn’t waiting so long to start a family, but that is a totally irrelevant thought now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

As for Peanut I am feeling movements everyday now but they are somewhat dulled, however they are still reassuring.

138 days to go

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