To all those people who kept (keep) telling me to ‘make’ DS drop his nap because he’ll sleep better, and whom poo pooed me saying it makes him sleep worse (coz apparently they know my son better than I do), well I invite them to line up so I can slap them. TERRIBLE night. Ok, so he went to sleep quicker and 40 minutes earlier but woke at midnight, 2 and finally got up at 4! Now at 8am we’re both moody because we’re tired. To top things off now the PlayStation is screwed meaning I can’t play my yoga DVD! GAH!!!

You may have noticed I’m a little stressed today. Life is just one big worry at the moment, mainly revolving around money, or lack there of. 🙄

My anxiety has been terrible today to the point of feeling like I’m on the verge of tears. Like a feeling of impending doom is hanging over me. I feel like a shit mother and apologising to DS and Peanut for bringing them into a world with me as their mother. I just can’t seem to shake it.

On a positive note, and I shall try and focus on the positives, I checked in on Peanut this morning  with the aid of my new best friend and all seems well there with a definite bpm of 156… girl???? Ha, we’ll  be deliberating that one until birth. I’m actually in love with this Doppler now. It is alleviating my pregnancy anxiety no end and is a real reassurance until Peanut’s movements become more pronounced.

Hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling a bit better. We’ve got music group in morning so perhaps some friendly adult company will help my feelings of loneliness and isolation. 

I’m going to watch ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’ for some humour, then go to bed.

16 days until anomaly scan.

156 days to go

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