I am a 43 mum of one darling, treasured rainbow baby (well, nearly 3-year-old).
On the 16th August 2016, after being plagued with recurrent miscarriages, I found out for the 6th time I was pregnant again.
This is my journey through what is most likely to be my last pregnancy be it a positive outcome, or not.
A quick history.
I’m not going to bore you with the finer details, I’m sure I’ll touch on them later down the line.
2010 First miscarriage at 10 weeks. Dealt with naturally through textbook expectant management.
2011 Second miscarriage at 12 weeks + 4. Also dealt with by expectant management, although not quite so textbook due to a blocked cervix I ended up being bluelighted to A&E.
2012 Third miscarriage at 10 weeks, expectantly managed, numerous tests followed with no reason found.
2013 Birth of my beautiful boy
2015 Fourth miscarriage at 11 weeks. Expectant management was once again chosen but after 2.5 months of bleeding I had surgical management to remove what remained of my baby.
I’ve never really enjoyed finding out I was pregnant, except the first time, as it’s always been overshadowed with worry and often disappointment.
When I fell with my DS I really wanted to chart the pregnancy but was to fearful to. In my mind if I even spoke about it I would lose him, God forbid anyone knew. Everything was met with superstitious claptrap.
This time I’ve decided to chart it whether it ends successfully, or not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to do it anonymously, I’m not ready to let the world know right now.
So here it is. My pregnancy diary. If you find me and read this then I hope you enjoy it but it’s really just written for me to alleviate some worries and hopefully look back on and enjoy retrospectively.