Another bad night’s sleep coupled with horrible weather and an horrific weight gain at Slimming World means my mood has been less than sunny today. As has DS’. Needless to say I’m glad today is nearly done with and I’m heading off to bed early in the hope of catching up on some sleep.
I’ve been feeling really achy in the uterine department today, I know that this is probably due to lots of growing and stretching going on but it doesn’t help my anxieties. I’ve actually fought the urge to run to the midwife and her Doppler. As much as I know I’m being paranoid, and that I write quite openly about it here, I still don’t want people who actually know me to know how much I’m struggling with these feelings and am desperately trying to not come across as neurotic. I suppose I don’t want to admit that I’m scared as this is a massive sign of emotional weakness and if I give into it I’m not sure how I’d react, it’d be like opening the floodgates to years of repressed emotions.
On a positive note I started my pre-natal fitness today, I’m hoping this and yoga will help my mood and alleviate some anxieties as well as getting my body prepared for labour and childbirth… I attribute such a good labour and birth with DS to yoga and am keen to repeat it this time round. Due to still feeling flaky in the afternoon I’ve decided to do this regime first thing in the morning when I have more energy and DS is ‘usually’ happy to play by himself, or atleast not needing to be entertained constantly. Of course doing it with a toddler laughing and using my poses as a playground (tunnel, bridge, horse, etc) doesn’t help the meditative benefits of the exercise but it certainly made it more interesting.
24 days until anomaly scan
164 days to go