Although I’m only 15 weeks + 4 today is my 16w midwife appointment. I barely slept last night due to peeing (every hour, I’m not exaggerating) then because I was awake I was of course thinking about today and stressing over DS’ birthday party. So the first night in over a week DS actually sleeps really well I have probably the worst night in forever.

Today I’m faced with mixed feelings, excitement that I should be able to hear peanut’s heartbeat and trepidation that she won’t be able to find it and it’ll send me spiralling into turmoil.

Due to 3 consecutive miscarriages before DS, when I was pregnant with him I had LOTS of scans and due to it being my 1st ‘official’ pregnancy I had more midwife appointments too. This time round I get the bare minimum and am stressing about simply not knowing that peanut is ok in there. Now, due to this not being my first pregnancy I discover I don’t even have as many midwife appointments… the next being at 28 weeks!!!!! That seems madness! I wonder why that is? Second time mum’s are just as prone to complications probably more so because you don’t get the time to look after yourself as well as with the first so why the lack of follow ups?

‘Luckily’, due to my age I will get more growth scans but I will find out how often at my anomaly scan in December when I see the consultant.

Let’s get today out the way first… wish me luck.

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