After a couple of days of highs I’ve had a real crash today. Feeling incredibly low again and no way of knowing how to change that. I’m assuming it’s wretched hormones making me feel as bad as I do. I just feel so lonely, I seem to do everything on my own (except with DS of course) and look around me and everyone else seems to be meeting/going out with friends and there’s me and DS on our own, again. 

I want my mum, I want to be near to my family, I want my old friends but I feel stuck here in this eternally grey landscape. I want some colour, some laughter, some brightness. Of course I may have hit the nail on the head writing that last sentence… S.A.D. I do suffer from it and this may be contributing to my low mood of course. I hadn’t thought.

On the pregnancy front, Peanut has been quite active again today which is nice to feel and helps to alleviate any anxieties where that is concerned though me being me, will still fret from time to time that it isn’t actually peanut moving that I can feel and then the old anxieties creep back into play.

Crikey, I’m neurotic! Stop me now 😂

5 days until midwife 

176 days to go


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