I’m not going to lie, I’m shitting myself right now, properly scared and I am desperately trying to find a positive view point to prevent me spiralling into a total panic.

As regards symptoms I have been very symptomatic today. Horrific nausea, headache, sore boobs and stretching aches in the pelvic region. This all sounds great and I was relived to feel this way until I was crouched down feeding deer with DS at our local nature park. On standing up I had the most horrific pain in my lower abdomen. Like a stabbing, twisting pain that lasted a good 30 seconds or more. Now I’ve had it before (when not pregnant) usually when I’ve sneezed or coughed and always said it was like my ovary was twisting (not knowing exactly where my ovaries are in relation to my abdomen, in fact it’s probably higher than where my ovaries actually are but it’s the only thing I can really think of in those instances). Located about an inch in from the top of my pelvic bone but deep within it really was an horrific pain. Ever since I’ve been terrified I’ve done something to the baby. Since getting home I’ve had a lot of discharge (clear, not blood) and I’m paranoid this is my mucus plug being released and something is going to happen imminently. My heart is racing. I’m pleading with baby to be ok and I’m having to do it quietly so as not to freak out my partner. When it happened at the park I said I twisted my side so as not to cause a scene and now feel I can’t go back on it.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but sit and wait but I really am so scared that I’m losing this baby too. I’m not sure how I would cope if this is the outcome having got this far again.

I just want to know that bubba is ok in there, I could sob.

4 days until the scan, it can’t come soon enough.

195 days to go, please God.

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