DS has been sleeping through until 6am every morning for the last 4 days now. This would be great if I could only stop OH from snoring and waking me every bloody hour. Thankfully he’s gone away again for the week today, what are the chances that DS will continue this miracle sleeping? Hmmm! Tonight will tell.

Haven’t felt so sick today which means I’m fighting with panic. I’m telling myself it’s because I’ve been busy (Slimming World this morning) and grazing all morning. What with that, cleaning the flat, washing etc I haven’t really had time to sit and think about it so assuming (hoping) I’ve ‘taken my mind off it’. 

Fatigue has hit at the same time though, boobs still sore and still dogged with a lazy bowel so I’m telling myself I’m not going to fret too much. 

Got a play date with one of my unaware mummy friends this afternoon, am preparing to keep tummy well and truly under wraps though I’m thinking I may just dupe people and just say I’ve been off the diet and have gained a few pounds but aware that these girls just ‘know’.

Ok, so I’ve just come back from play date and I folded and told. I couldn’t do it! She was asking questions I just couldn’t answer without further lies so I just told her. I’m not a good liar, in fact I’m the world’s worst. Little unimportant ones are fine but ones that involve deceit I can not do, so I folded. Now I feel bad that the other two ladies in our group don’t know but I’m already convinced one too many people know and I’m going to lose the baby because of it. Have been carrying DS around everywhere today so my back and pelvis ache which is only fuelling this anxiety. I figure I’ve got one more play date with them to get under my belt on Friday and after that I can just hide and keep shtum until next Thursday when they’ll all know anyway, one way or the other. Jesus I hate all this cloak and dagger stuff.

9 days until the scan (single figures, at last).

200 days to go.


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