There was a moment there at 8am this morning that I thought ‘hey, I feel fine this morning’, for about fifteen minutes I stressed, until getting hit head first with the symptom train. Nausea horrific today, along with fatigue (as I’ve said before the worst nausea hits when the fatigue does). Of course this isn’t much fun when out walking or playing football with a nearly three year old. Thought I was going to faint about 4 times in town today… thankfully I didn’t.

Had two viewings today so along with amid feeling totally rotten I had to run around and tidy the flat, not much fun especially when the first couple were way too frail for it to ‘suit’ them and the second person didn’t even bother turning up. You wouldn’t think a massive flat by the sea (literally, the sea is our front garden) in Cornwall would be so difficult to sell!

My boobs have suddenly had a massive growth spurt today and are itching like crazy due to the skin stretch (note to self: must fish out old maternity bras). Should make feeding DS tonight fun…

My anxiety hasn’t been too bad today though I am finding then when I wipe, post toilet, there is a split second where I am actually expecting to see blood on the paper. A couple of times my finger has nearly come through the paper thus enabling the skin of said finger to show through the paper, yes, panic ensues for a second until I realise. 

I can’t believe I’m so close to safety but just can’t allow myself to relax. I’m almost willing this week away. If I could go to bed tonight and not wake up until next Wednesday I’d be rather happy. I’m expecting the next 10 days to drag. I keep thinking I’ve got this far but am all too aware that it doesn’t mean a jot.

10 days until the scan.

201 days to go

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